My name is Beth and I used to be a shopaholic.
I used to say to my ex-husband that every day was a shopping day. He would scowl in response; I suppose he had a point. You see, I had an obsession.
From as young as ten, I fell in love with clothes. I would draw dresses and beautiful ladies and I would stare in shop windows.
As a young teen I couldn’t wait to head into Plymouth, my home city, and spend every single penny of my money.
Turns out, clothing wasn’t the only thing that I was obsessed with. Music, shoes, make up handbags, jewellery, scarves, boots. As I grew into adulthood, my clothing obsession took over my life.
I loved clothes and had to have lots of them. I had to have boots of every colour and style, tops, skirts, dresses, jackets. Each time I bought, I would have a feeling of high, quickly replaced with anxiety. The thing is, I would tell myself that every item would make me feel better, prettier, more loved, more fulfilled, less empty. In truth, none of that happened. I felt the same. I even turned to home bedding, ensuring that everything was perfect, every towel, duvet and fitted sheet. Then I bought everything with a Heart on it, desperate to bring love into the home.
Each time I had a splurge, I would tell myself that it was the ‘last time’ and now I had everything I needed. But I was kidding myself. It never was enough, I just couldn’t make things perfect enough, as much as I tried.
Roll on to 2016. I was downsizing from a three bedroomed home to a two bedroomed apartment. Even I could see that I had too many clothes and they would never fit into the apartment. I had only one choice, I had to either donate or sell them. As I listed them on eBay I was hopeful of making big money. Sadly, very little sold and certainly I did not reap the rewards I wanted. In truth, my clothing was a heap of material that no-one wanted. I had to bite the bullet; I had no choice.
I scooped up the clothing, heaps of it, and piled it into bags and took it to all the charity shops in Lymington. There must have been over five hundred items in total.
It was a shock to the system but once I let them go, it was to be the biggest learning of my life. I did not need this ‘stuff’. I only ever wore half of what was in my wardrobe anyway, I felt liberated.
Now I have a small wardrobe full of clothes I love.
Hi, I’m Beth and I no longer think that every day is a shopping day!