I often reflect on the blogs I write and the reasons why I write about the subjects I do. Sometimes it may appear that they have nothing to do with decluttering but in truth, they truly do have everything to do with decluttering. There is no one post that does not reflect either a part of my life or the lives of my clients.
Years ago, I shared all sorts of ramblings about narcissism and gaslighting. At the time I was in the ‘eye of the storm’ and everything seemed dark (even though I tried to see the light). The truth is, I had a lot of mental clutter and by sharing, I was able to alleviate some of the pain I was feeling and hopefully share some of my experience of how damaging narcissism and gaslighting can be.
Being someone who has lacked confidence, in the past, a post shared would often mean weeks of torment on whether I had ‘shared’ too much. I’m not a fan of everyone knowing my business, but in the year 2021, it seems that sharing is perfectly fine and in fact, as more and more of us speak our truth on social media, we help those who struggle to do so.
Clutter is, in my view, a by-product of other ‘stuff’; mostly mental. My physical clutter was clothes. I used to buy a lot of clothes. It filled the void of a loveless marriage, so it became just clutter. I had so many clothes, constantly seeking that perfect dress, that in the end I could not see what I had to wear. The buzz of the purchase wore off quickly when I was left with the debt I could ill afford. The void I needed to fill could never be filled until I found the inner happiness I so longingly yearned for. Shopping was an obsession, one that could have led me to financial ruin had I not realized the error of my ways and sorted out my brain!
I sought perfectionism buying things to make life seem better when in truth, all I had to do was sort my head out. I came to realize that by trying to make everything perfect, I was only causing myself and others, grief.
In 2016 I left my marriage, not without huge heartache. But the years that followed allowed me to unravel the clutter and create a more streamlined version of myself. Kinder to self, more loving and more accepting. Less critical of myself and, indeed, others and more tolerant. Above all, I am free, at last of that constant chitter chatter of discontent that ruled my life.
Things no longer matter to me, it’s the experiences that count and surely, if you want to spend your money on something, isn’t it better to buy memories and not ‘things.’
Goodness knows what goes on in my head these days, but I can tell you hand on heart, happy thoughts dominate my life and I find myself smiling for no reason whatsoever.
Wherever you are right now, and whatever clutter you cling onto, all of it can be gone, if you so wish. With the New Year upon us, maybe it really is time to Wish Upon a Star.