As a professional declutterer and organiser I cannot begin to tell you how many times I have been asked, “can you declutter my life?” We have often laughed, and I have responded with a much more positive response than what you think. I normally say yes, I can, if you want to.
It sounds so enticing – to declutter your life. I don’t think it’s out of the reach of anyone, but it takes hard work. First, you need to identify which areas of your life need decluttering. Given that I believe the word Balance is one of the most important aims in life, it may well be that there is more to declutter than you think.
In 2017 I wrote a presentation showing how to declutter your life, and indeed how to reinvent yourself. I never did anything with it – too shy to step forward and still healing myself. But now in 2024, it seems that more and more of us are seeking guidance on our next steps. Just look at the number of podcasts, books, mentors, support groups, and therapies available – we are all seeking something.
For my part, my journey started in 2014 when I reached what I call enlightenment (or what could have been perceived as a mental health crisis). In truth, it was the menopause combined with obvious signs of ADHD. In any event, I came to realise I had had enough, and some major things had to change.
I sat with pen and paper, and I broke down my life into categories. Below I’ve shared the categories I worked with, along with questions you may like to ask yourself. You could, of course, have different categories where you find yourself saying, “I need to declutter my life.”
- Family – They say you cannot choose your family, but you can choose your friends – and that is true. Having family is wonderful, but if there are things to be said and healed, it’s better they are cleared before too much damage is done. Communication is key. I like to write a letter to those I feel have done me wrong (even if they are no longer alive). It’s a great way of healing. Write a letter truthfully, as if they were in front of you. No one else needs to see it. Then you can burn it.
- Marriage/romance – We all dream of a knight on a charger who can rescue us, but sometimes reality is far from fantasy. Even someone who seems perfect at the beginning can seem ‘less than’ years later. If you feel it’s time to say goodbye, make sure you have explored every avenue before separation or divorce. I recommend counselling with Relate (or similar), and open conversations about where you think your relationship is falling short.
- Friendships – I love my friends, but I have those who are close by my side, who I trust implicitly, and those I keep at a distance and see less often. There is nothing wrong with boundaries, but it’s vital to know who lifts you up and who makes you feel ‘less than.’ If a friend makes you feel uneasy, it may be time to step back – with love, without harsh words, just gently reducing contact.
- Work – If you wake on Monday with a sigh and already long for Friday, it’s time to question if your job is right for you. Is it time for a change? Are you nervous about changing careers? A career coach can help identify your key strengths and guide you towards the job of your dreams. Life is too short to dread Mondays. I always say: if you love your job, you love your life.
- Where I live – If you don’t like your home and dread going back, perhaps it’s time for a change. If you own your home, maybe you could rent it out and try living elsewhere, or rent a smaller place in a new area. Sometimes areas evolve, and they no longer suit us. Decluttering and refreshing your space with paint or décor can help, as can taking in a lodger if loneliness is the issue. If all else fails, move on – but make a list of must-haves to ensure your next move is right.
- Health (physical & mental) – This is the most important area to declutter. If you are sick and tired of being sick and tired, something needs addressing physically or spiritually. I am a fan of Louise Hay’s book You Can Heal Your Life, which explores how emotions can manifest in the body as dis-ease. Therapies like CBT or NLP are excellent tools, and I also recommend hypnotherapy to help change thought patterns for the better.
- Finances – If money is not flowing, it can create stress. But worry often attracts more lack. I am a fan of daily gratitudes. Saying what you are grateful for every day tips the balance in your favour. I also recommend The Secret and visualisation. Imagine you already have what you want. Write a cheque to the Universe with the amount you want, place it on your vision board, and trust. On a practical note, if you’re not earning enough, prepare a strong proposal and ask your employer for a raise.
- Dreams and ambitions – Dreams give us direction. Even if you never achieve your full list, create one: places to visit, hobbies to try, things to do. Add them to an Action Board. The world is your oyster. Learn to feel excited about how your life could unfold.
There are many ways to declutter your life, but if you can get on top of these key areas, things will start to flow much more easily for you.