One of the biggest dilemmas as humans is how to mix socially and comfortably with others. Sometimes that can be a challenge. Each of us is entirely individual, with our own set of beliefs, boundaries, ethics and life-style choices and each of us is entitled to be exactly who we want to be. However, that does not always make harmonious relationships with our fellow man. If only.
There is, however, one fool-proof way to get on with others and that is to listen. Everyone has something to offer, either great advice, or some learning. Every time I meet someone new, I always love the fact that I learn from them, whatever they have to say. Even if we don’t see eye to eye, it is a good way to evaluate another’s viewpoint.
To me, it’s all about mirroring another’s behaviours and to find common ground. If someone speaks quietly, I speak quietly. If someone hardly speaks, I don’t speak either (I know, that’s hard to believe right) but often I can be quiet to mimic another’s behaviour. I do this quite often with some of my clients who are not particularly talkative. It builds trust and a comfortable silence is never a bad thing. It shows that you respect their quiet ways and are happy to go with the flow and allow them to speak when they are comfortable to do so.
Often your calming, listening ways (rather like the way a counsellor acts) is a great diffuser of any situation, particularly if someone is irate or distressed.
When I attended the @landmarkforum programme in 2017 and 2018, I found it comforting that you did not actually have to get on with everyone. Not everyone is your friend and accepting that, makes life a whole lot easier.
For my part, I find that having an accepting, loving heart and accepting people just exactly as they are, with no judgement or criticism, has created the widest friendship bubble I have ever had. I am the better for my diverse range of friends, oblivious of their beliefs. As long as we treat each other with kindness, I am good with that.
Everyone needs friends and human connection. We thrive on it.