I meet so many women and indeed, some men too, who, after a breakup struggle to get back onto their feet. In some cases, the trauma from the divorce has left them a bit broken and unable to move on.
I know, myself, that when I split from my ex-husband, I was full of sadness and it took me over three years to truly find myself again. No-one ever signs up for a divorce; it is the last thing you think of when you meet the person you love and want to marry. But often marriages simply crumble apart before your eyes and you can find it hard to know what to do for the best.
For my part, and I hope this wise advice helps, the best thing I did was to not hate my husband and to allow myself to heal for as long as it takes. I knew that if I stored up any hatred and remorse for ‘what should have been’ and ‘what could have been’ I would live forever in sadness. I knew that I had to heal and here, simply put, is how I did it
- I remembered why I married my ex in the first place
- I remembered all the good times
- I remembered all the life lessons
- I thanked him for his contribution to my life (I did this in person)
- I apologised for my part in the marriage break up (this is important)
- I learned to be friends with him again and together we pieced together what went wrong. We even had some laughter and some tears too.
- I eventually let go of the bonds that tied us together; after 18 years together, it was inconceivable that I would simply shake off the past just like that. I was deeply remorseful that I had a failed marriage
- I forgave myself and my ex
- I sent him all my love
- And I bade him farewell, knowing that there is always a part of me that will always love him.
Many of my customers are struggling to let go of the past, I know how that feels but letting go you must, in order to move forward.
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