I love all forms of music and especially, being so very young at heart, I listen to Radio 1 all the time. I’m a big fan of all the current talent but I’m particularly a big fan of the fierce and gorgeous female singers out there right now, i.e. Jess Glynne, Ella Eyre, Jorga Smith, Stefflon Don, Laura Mvula, Paloma Faith, Anne Marie, Becky Hill…and Little Mix. I like them a lot. They’re fun, feisty, not overly girly and seem real. Therefore, what on earth are they doing singing a song with the lyrics “Only you can fix me”? Really?

In 2018 Mental Health has never been so prevalent, discussed in the news, brought to light by celebrities, and there is not one psychological, mentoring, spiritual or physical online site, book or any other form of ‘help groups’ that say “When you’re damaged, don’t try and fix yourself, find someone to fix you”. What?!

My goodness me! It’s a mistake that so many women, and indeed men, have done time and time again. We shouldn’t be trying to find others to heal the ‘hurt’ but, in fact, deal with it ourselves to be able to be in a great place when we finally do meet Mr or Mrs Right. What we don’t want to do is attract someone into our lives who is only going to do more harm to us. In some cases, the ‘harm’ is not deliberate, but if you hook up with someone who is damaged, what you can often end up doing is taking away the last vestiges of power they have. Far better, you walk away and let them heal.

I connect with so many women and we all agree that in many cases, being empaths, we are drawn to people who need ‘fixing’, but likewise the people who we are drawn to think we need fixing too. The point is, we probably did and still do and that never makes for a good marriage.

Relationships are amazing and beautiful, and meeting your true soul mate has to be the icing on the cake. But I emphasise this, the icing on the cake! Not the cake mixture, not the buttercream filling. You need to be whole, fixed, sorted and confident you and have high self-esteem to be able to attract only someone into your life who wants the very best for you. Then they don’t want to fix you but only see the best in you and take you to the next level in life. They have ‘your back’ as you have theirs.

Certainly, you could argue that no-one is perfect and are we as human beings ever truly fixed? That’s a discussion for another day, but one of the benefits of ageing is that you get to know yourself well enough to understand what makes you tick. If mistakes have been made in a relationship, you’ll far better understand why the mistakes were made – after all, it’s never just one-sided. Then, once you’ve figured that out, you can go about fixing yourself so that the next person who comes into your life sees the shining star that you are and thinks “Wow, I want this person in my life” and what’s even better “They don’t need fixing”! So girls, if you’re looking for Mr Right trawling through the dating sites, hold your horses! Maybe you need to check that you’re in a good place before trying to find what you’re looking for right now?

So going back to ‘Little Mix’. They’re a really important girl band as they appeal to young girls. Therefore, it’s a tad worrying that it would appear nothing has changed and they’re putting a message out into the world that reads “only you can fix me” which is surely not the right message to young girls who admire the band.

I need to share with you a blogger’s comments which are so funny and show that I’m not the only one who feels like this about the song –

Little Mix & Cheat Codes’ New Song “Only You” Goes Against Everything I Believe In But It’s A Bop

Let me address that headline right away. In the track, Little Mix sings: “I’m broken here tonight and darling, no one else can fix me / Only you, only you / And no one else can fix me, only you.”

Bitch, where? I’ve gone through a few breakups in my old age, and the only person that could fix my bitter self is (it’s gonna be) MAE. My jaded romantic views can’t take away from the track’s quality, however; It’s a fun summer bop that features all of the production gymnastics you’d expect from EDM trio, Cheat Codes. Just with an evil, terrible message. We’re independent women, right ladies?

Love it and couldn’t say it better myself!

With love,

Tracey B x
Lifestyle Consultant