Declutter your Home | The Lifestyle Concept | Bournemouth, Dorset

What did you do when you got a divorce?

This one goes out to everyone who has been divorced or is going through a separation right now.

 

In 2016 I parted from my ex-husband. It was the worst thing that had ever happened in my life and not something I had planned or wished for.  In fact, in 2010 I had had a nightmare, dreaming that my ex and I had split. I was so relieved to hear him downstairs.  Maybe a psychic premonition? You decide. It freaked me out and my strength of my feeling, made me release that the thought of being single in my 50’s was not something I wanted.

 

Roll on a few years later and my nightmare was to become my reality.

 

However, I was the one who forced the decision.  I had been unhappy for some time and knew that I would prefer to be on my own than face years of a different kind of loneliness, the loneliness of an empty marriage. It was the hardest thing I had to face.  My own reality.

 

In the subsequent years I was to go through every emotion from feeling liberated to feeling incredibly sad and desolate.  I came to realize also how co-dependent I had been.  It was much more taxing than I thought it would be and I admit, I have taken years to heal.

 

Many people come out of marriages and quickly find new love, or at least seek it but I think you need time to heal.   It is okay to take your time.

 

I also was able to speak openly to my husband with love and kindness about where we had gone wrong but what also had been right about our marriage.

 

For me, I rediscovered the old me and started doing things I had wanted to do for years.  Clubbing, festivals, hiking, spiritual development even getting a tattoo at 50 years of age!  I do not regret any of it, but I did laugh when I read an article about how many women who divorce in their 50’s gets a tattoo. And there was me thinking I was so unique – turns out not so. here’s what top tattoo artist, Dukanovic, has to say –

 

“Older women are more likely to want tattoos with meaning. I do a lot of memorial work for women in their 50s and 60s. It’s not for show, and not for fashion … women want pieces that have symbolism or images from their life,” she says.

 

Whatever you do (tattoo’s aside) and wherever you are on the divorce journey, accept that you have a bit of time to make it through the other side and there is no need to rush.  The harmony you seek is within your grasp.

 

Trust me, I got there in the end

 

With love

 

Beth

 

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